Learning the Ins and Outs of Dating from the Jewish Perspective

Dating is a time-consuming and challenging process. You need to be honest with the other person without telling them everything. You need to discuss important subjects to see if you both want to head in the same direction, but you don’t want to scare them off by sharing every dream and plan you have for the rest of your life. You need to show you can learn about them without seeming creepy or like a potential stalker.

This makes dating scary at the same time as it is exciting. Add in the elements of interracial dating and/or different religions, and you may want to stay home and skip the process. However, dating someone who is Jewish can have some significant meaning to it. It helps to know these elements.

Jewish Religion is Passed Down through The Mother

Did you know that as a non-Jewish woman, if you were to marry a Jewish man, his children would not be considered Jews? This would change if you decide to convert to Judaism. However, if you marry the man and refuse to convert to his faith, then there is no way your children could be considered Jewish.
This may be a big reason why, if you fall in love with a Jewish man but not his faith, you may end up brokenhearted. He will want to share his religion with his offspring. That means marrying a woman who is Jewish or will convert to Judaism for him and their future offspring.

Jewish Men and Women Should be Honest

According to the Torah, misleading another is prohibited. Therefore, all of your actions and words in your dating process should be honest and straightforward.

There is no reason to lead someone on or give the impression you are interested in things they are when you actually have no interest in moving toward marriage or children with them.

Have the Support of an Understanding Family

It is very important when looking for a future spouse that you consider your family’s reaction to that person. There will be gatherings where they will have to interact with your significant other, so it helps to have family that will understand cultural and ethnic differences and love your significant other with all of their hearts anyway.

If your family tends to be close-minded or unwelcoming to those of a different race or who do not share their beliefs and values, you have to make a very important choice. It may be wise, if you feel you are not strong enough to live without the family’s approval, to find someone that will be a better fit for your life and your family’s expectations.

If you feel strong enough, however, it will be important to be ready to limit family contact when it comes to protecting your significant other from their less than welcoming attitudes. For those who are independent and already have limited contact with their blood relatives, this won’t be an issue at all. That makes it much easier to find the love of your life and not stress about the way they will fit into the family you grew up with.

Why Jewish Dating Mostly Happens Online

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No one’s got a chastity belt tied to them, so casual dating is no big deal, right?  But SERIOUS dating, including Jewish dating is very important business, especially to a young man or woman who takes their faith seriously.  Serious dating involves lifelong decisions.  This is the guy or girl you’re going to take home to meet your mother, father, grandmother and aunts and uncles.  This has got to be someone you really care about because it’s an investment in your future.

Make no mistake about it, a marriage built on sexual attraction but absent of love and personal compatibility would be miserable!  Not only would you be prone to fighting, but you would also find it unbearably lonely to share a bed with someone you don’t trust, don’t love and don’t know how to please.

Why Religious Compatibility Matters

This is why parents put such emphasis on finding a marriage mate who shares the same principles, values, morals and religious convictions.  Studies show that partners who share important life goals and perspectives have the longest-lasting relationships.  When your goals differ from your partner’s, you tend to drift apart.

However, if you can find another eligible person that shares your Jewish faith, then it’s a much better bet that you will have lifelong compatibility.  You will share goals like putting family first, raising children to be compassionate, smart and career-focused.  Most of all, you would instill a respect for morals and religious values into your children, as this brings honor to a Jewish family.  You would show honor to your parents by following in the path they set for you—namely by putting your religiously-guided conscience above all other things.  This will help you choose a partner that’s good for you—one that has a positive effect on you as a person.

Why the Online Solution Works

Naturally, when you’re looking for a serious love connection you’re limited by proximity.  This is why your mother may try extra hard to make friends, make acquaintances, and match you up with someone she knows and likes.  The problem is when you leave marriage up to proximity, and up to a small circle of friends, you miss out on more quality partners and better matches!

Using an online matching service specifically created for Jewish singles can give you access to a much wider selection.  You can also filter out the wrong type of partner (physically, or by age, income level or interest), and focus more on the right kind of partner.  Choosing only among successful Jewish singles guarantees that you’ll have a better marriage than simply falling for whatever guy/girl comes along—and one who might not believe the same fundamentals that you do.  (Not to mention if he or she’s unemployed or underemployed!)

You only get married once, and a failed marriage is really a lifelong stress.  Don’t stress out your family by becoming yoked with a partner who won’t appreciate you, or won’t share your morals and principles.  Find someone who loves you, loves your family and loves the same Jewish lifestyle and faith.

Jewish Dating – A Replacement for Mrs. Matchmaker!

If you know anything about Jewish family, then you probably know your mother is already trying to scout you out a good man!  And while she may sometimes say embarrassing thing, you got to hand her this: she really does care about you.

Building a Stronger Family

 

She knows that when you’re serious about marriage, marrying the wrong guy can be a mistake you regret for the rest of your life.  It is definitely a problem, especially among the non-religious.  Families figure their sons and daughters will marry “the right one” when he comes along.  But if they’re not guided by religious principles, they may well let their son or daughter marry a raging narcissist!

 

The good thing about marrying another person in the Jewish faith is that it serves as a protection.  A man guided by the words of the Torah and Rabbinic law will strive to be patient, loyal, gentle and a man who supports his family.  A woman similarly will put forth exemplary qualities, like loyalty, respect, compassion and a willingness to work, while also being a good mother.  These are qualities that make for a strong family.

 

Why Online Matches Are Far Better

 

The question is, doesn’t mom know better than an impersonal online dating service or online app?  Doesn’t she know you and know the type of guy you like?

 

Well in theory she may…but then again, she doesn’t know everything about you.  She doesn’t know the way you think, or your deeply personal preferences that only you know.  She also may think she’s a good judge of character, but sometimes human error is flawed.  We tend to see only the appearance a person projects—not the secret person of the heart.

 

Now it’s true that an online service can’t promise you a scientific match, no company can claim that.  What you do get, however, is a filtering feature that allows you to narrow down your selection among Jewish singles, and based on attributes like: age, body shape, income level, and personality.  You can tell a lot about a person from their profile description and some of the ice breaking questions that online dating sites provide.

 

Online dating sites also provide you with a steady supply of possible suitors, and all within the proximity of your choosing.  You no longer have to wait months on end just for a new friendly face to pop up in your neighborhood.  In fact, it might be a good idea to bring your mother and or father into the searching process so they can offer their input.  This way, it will give them a feeling of inclusion.

 

You don’t want to totally rely on your mother’s matchmaking.  On the other hand, you don’t want to blindly trust all online matches either.  Use discernment.  Think about possible “red flags” when looking at a man’s profile.  If you search for another Jewish single, and use these criteria in narrowing your selection, you can find a marriage partner worthy of your love.

 

Jewish Men: What They Want and All the Hype

Dating for anyone is a matter of personal preference. Yet, somehow, stereotypes develop and as a white or Asian woman, a black woman or even a Jewish woman, you have to wonder where to start in the dating world and if a Jewish man will be interested.

Did You Know the Stereotype is Alive and Well?

The stereotype is that Jewish men are looking for Asian women. There are many people who encourage the stereotype, noting they know numerous couples where the female is Asian and the male is a white, Jewish fellow. Meanwhile, there are studies to show the veracity of this stereotype. It can help women understand their chances of snagging a Jewish man if that happens to be what you are looking for in an interracial relationship.

Survey Says: Jewish Men are Looking for White Ladies

For the most part, Jewish men are found to be looking for white women. This is at a rate of 65% in some cases. Meanwhile, the rate of Jewish men who are reported to be actively seeking an Asian female for a relationship is comparable to the numbers of Jewish men who are seeking Hispanic women.
Studies say 19% of Jewish men seek an Asian female for a love interest, while 17% look for Hispanic women. Interestingly enough, and bad news for the black ladies, only 3% of Jewish men are looking for the darker complected lovelies to spend time with romantically.

In another study, it was proven that white men get the most responses from women who are white, black or Asian. Therefore, a Jewish man is most likely to get attention from the woman he shows interest in, no matter which category she fits into. This is great news for you if you are a Jewish man. Your social calendar is going to fill up fast.

Ladies: Act Fast if You Want a Jewish Man

Meanwhile, for the ladies, keep in mind that competition for that white, Jewish stud is going to be fierce. Don’t be afraid to show your interest, particularly if he reaches out to you first. Let him know that you want to see how things go with the two of you. That way, you won’t miss out on your romantic connection by attempting to play hard-to-get.

Jewish men, here’s a tip for you: Write back to these interracial dating apps! The ladies are reaching out or are answering your message. Don’t just stop messaging or let a lot of time go by before you get back to them. Interested ladies aren’t going to wait around forever. They want to hear back from you and know that you are interested in seeing where things can go with them.

Remember, if you don’t answer you are likely to stay single. And in the meantime, all those ladies of all skin colors and ethnicity are hooking up with and finding meaningful relationships with another, luckier guy. Get those typing fingers moving, gentlemen!

Three Musts For that First Date with a Jewish Person


Taking the big step and meeting someone for a first date is exciting. It can also be challenging, since you may have met on a dating app or web site. You may have no idea what they really want out of this meeting, and they likewise don’t know what you are thinking. That is why, if you are a Jewish person trying to find someone at the same point on the dating time line as you, it is important to consider these three things.

Be Honest Right From the Start

The first date is a great time to get to know the basics. However, don’t be afraid to touch on some of the more serious topics. Talk about whether one of you recently broke up with someone, whether you have been single and lonely for years and whether the intention is to get serious or simply to expand your social circle.

Honesty is going to be important at every step in your relationship, particularly where interracial dating is concerned. During your dating years, you both need to learn about each other and see if the long-term is going to work. During your marriage, honesty can diffuse a tense situation more quickly. Finally, as you try to parent new little people, honesty between the two of you is going to be the only way to be sure you are backing each other up when you need to. It is important to make honesty the top priority in any relationship. It is even more important when your relationship and your cultural and/or religious beliefs are going to need to mesh well.

Tell Them What You See in Your Future

Marriage and kids and traveling abroad are big topics. You may want to hide away your dreams and desires and not scare off this new person in your life. However, when you keep all of that for later, you may be spending time with someone who has no interest in any of the things you are working toward. That means a waste of both of your time. That can be a big deal for people who are hoping to have children and have a biological clock ticking in their ear.

Talk about Values and the Way They Fit Into Your Life

Everyone has some idea of the values and character traits that they want to see in their significant other. Sometimes, you meet someone and all of that goes out the window. However, you can also want and need to see some qualities in a person before you can commit to giving away your heart. Consider what is most important to you in order to see what may be a deal breaker in terms of happily ever after. Make sure to see how the other person responds to these two or three must-haves you decided you need to see. Then, you can understand better if an interracial relationship can move forward or if it is better to consider the meeting a fun outing and not a precursor to more serious dating in the future.

Heed the Advice of Your Elders and Marry Smart!

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Jewish families are known for being tight-knit and strong.  It’s not just your parents that take care of the young but the aunts, uncles and all the relatives—even the extended circle of lifelong friends.  And what do all the elders say about Jewish dating?  What do the Rabbis tell you about getting married?

They say ‘Don’t’!

No, seriously, they emphasize the importance of finding someone you really love and can tolerate for the long-term.  It’s easy to fall in love and that’s the first thing they’ll tell you.  You can fall in love with anyone, even the kind of person that you’re not really compatible with.

Believe it or not, it’s true.  How many times have you heard of marriages falling apart, after a good seven years or so?  It’s because the infatuation, the feeling of being in “love” wears off.  You fall in love easily, but once you live together that’s when things start crumbling down slowly but surely.

If you marry someone vain, selfish or inconsiderate you can only imagine how miserable you’re going to be in your daily routine.  If you marry someone sexy and exciting, but who’s a cold fish when it comes to nurturing and being supportive, you’re going to feel so alone.

It’s important to understand that there are multiple dimensions of love and attraction.  You can be attracted to someone physically and intellectually and still miss that important “something” that makes your marriage happy.
What is That Missing Something?

What is it?  How can you be sexually compatible with someone, intellectually in-sync but not be happy?  Is that even possible?

It’s very possible because the ideal we chase after, and what we actually take home and live at least 10-12 hours a day, are oftentimes very different.  We feel attraction to the person that is edgy and a little dangerous.  But these people can be a handful to deal with, especially in family life.

As you grow older, you’re going to yearn for a peaceful home, not one full of drama and backbiting.  A jealous mate, a nagging mate, an abusive mate (physically or verbally), someone who’s unkind to your family—these are negative qualities that are going to wear you down and stress you out.  It doesn’t really matter if your sex life is booming if you can’t enjoy a meal without an argument.

What does it matter if you have money or nice things, if he/she doesn’t like your family and doesn’t come around for special occasions?

The truth is you want someone you can live with—not someone you’ve “always wanted.”  Because what you’ve always wanted is sometimes a dream.  And even when you achieve that dream, you’re not always thrilled with the end result.  As you mature, you realize that the family you grew up with is really what you want to recreate.  You want a nice quiet and supportive household.

That’s why you want to carefully scan and filter when you look for eligible singles in your area.  Use a professional Jewish dating site to find Jewish singles that can appreciate where you come from and what you’re actually looking for.  Listening to the wisdom of others, the older ones who care about you, is the best way to make your marriage strong and secure.

How to Create a Perfect Online Dating Profile that Appeals to Jewish Women

Are you looking to meet that perfect Jewish woman that fills all your dreams and is the ideal partner? If so then you probably are well aware of how helpful and convenient it is to use an online dating site or app that is specifically geared towards Jewish dating. However, in order to start meeting people and get on the road to meeting the ideal Jewish woman, you first need to put together a killer profile.

Always Include a Photo

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it, you need to include a photo in your profile. Even if the app or website doesn’t require that you include one, always add one. Now there are a couple of “rules” to keep in mind when you select a photo. Obviously you want to pick one that shows you in a flattering way, but it needs to be fairly recent and pretty accurate. Misleading someone through a photo that isn’t exactly up-to-date isn’t a great way to get started.

Another tip is to make sure the photo contains just you. Don’t pick a picture of you and your buddies, family, or worst of all – an ex-girlfriend. It may be that you need to take a new picture, if so enlist the help of a friend.

Sell Yourself but Be Truthful

A killer profile basically gives you a chance to sell yourself. Yes it sounds bad, but let’s face it, that’s how dating is at the start. While you want to point out your finer points, you need to make sure you are being truthful. Again, it’s all about getting off on the right foot. Honesty will get you far in a relationship.

Keep the Profile Light

Your profile page isn’t the place to pen an in-depth essay about your deeper thoughts and dreams in life. Instead keep your profile light and fun. The deep stuff can come later on as you get to know each other better.

While you don’t want to fall into the trap of using clichés, there is nothing wrong with letting your personality shine and even show a little fun and humor with your words. Or course it should go without saying that your profile also needs to be kept clean.

Check for Spelling and Grammar Mistakes

There is nothing worse than trying to read a poorly written profile that is filled with errors. To make sure this doesn’t happen to you make sure you use spellcheck. It’s also a good idea to take things one step further and have a good friend read your profile. Ask them to look for mistakes and get feedback on whether they think it hits the mark and describes you well.

Make Sure you Update on a Regular Basis

You don’t want your profile to look stagnant on Jewish dating sites, this is basically saying that people aren’t showing an interest in you. In order to prevent this from happening, make sure you update it regularly and get back to people when they message/contact you.

Jewish Dating Gives You Peace of Mind

Are you Jewish and looking for love? As you can probably tell us, it’s hard to find! Just because there are many nice people in the world certainly doesn’t mean you’re going to find the perfect match.

There are plenty of nice guys and nice girls that just don’t match you in terms of personality. That might not match you in body type, values and goals, or even dare we say, faith and culture. That’s something many Jewish singles today take seriously.

Some orthodox Jews for example, will not marry anyone who isn’t Jewish and orthodox at that. Others may be more liberal minded when it comes to particular faith, but they still want to marry someone they feel comfortable with; another Jewish person.

Why Does It Matter?

If you’re wondering yourself if it really matters, you aren’t the first. Sure, there are many compatible singles out there and some of them you may really like. But do they share your values as a Jewish person?
Jewish families are very close. We share the holidays and the culture. Not all of us are religious, necessarily but there are many traditions that unite us as a people, not to mention the history.

Stick with Who You Know

In the end, you really do want to stick with somebody who knows you. They know where you come from, they know where you are going. They don’t just respect your values and goals—they are heading in the same direction. It’s so much easier to go through life when you have someone that’s evenly matched with you.

Someone who doesn’t share your faith or your culture, someone that doesn’t appreciate what it means to be Jewish, might not be able to nurture you the way you need. They speak your language but don’t really speak to you, not the way you want.

What’s really nice is that Jewish dating sites can help you connect to most of the Jewish community. Using an app or a website can help you find eligible singles in the area or even across the state, or country.

You don’t have to “take chances” in love. You don’t have to accidentally stumble into love. That’s dangerous thinking, and yet how many people do exactly that? They don’t even think about what kind of partner they want. They just wait until they happen to meet someone special.

The problem here is that you leave your heart open for anyone, even the wrong type of person, to come along and grab your attention. Some just want one night stands. Some may want commitment, but they might be the worst kind of partner for you.

What if your partner is prone to rage? What if he or she is unfaithful? Even if you do care for somebody, these are serious flaws that can undermine a good marriage.

The smart thing to do is to plan for your future. Don’t fall in love by accident. Find someone who deserves you, and someone you deserve.

4 Ways to Save Money on Dates

The dating phase is fun and exciting but it is not without the downfall of possibly being financially draining. This is especially true if you are seeking love on a Jewish dating site and find that you need to go on more than a few first dates before you find the right someone to move forward with. The cost of going on multiple dates can be exhausting and often deter singles for making a true effort in finding the right partner. If you want to make the most out of your dating experience, here are four ways to save money.

Start with a Meeting Date

Once upon a time, it was normal that the first day consisted of a long drawn out dinner. Today, it is much more realistic to have a meeting date where you me in individual for coffee or tea or a cocktail. This gives you a chance to get to know the person and decide if you actually think there is potential for future. You can learn a lot about someone on a meeting date. It is also a nice alternative from the stress of planning and dressing up for a more formal date. On average, a meeting date can cost just a few dollars.

Take Advantage of Specials and Discounts

Even as you head into the second date, you want to be aware of how much you are investing if you haven’t decided if this person is right for you. An easy way to curb the cost of a traditional dinner date is to take advantage of specials and discounts that are available in your area. For example, many establishments will offer discounts for students, civil service workers, and military personnel. Additionally, check the restaurant social media pages to find out about any daily specials. This could include all you can eat pasta, bottomless wings, or buy one get one free specials that are available for certain meals on certain days. This simple trick can easily cut your date night spending in half.

Use Coupons

There are a variety of different types of coupons which can be used on your date without making you seem cheap. First check group discount sites such as Groupon and living social for the availability of discounted gift certificates to restaurants or other events in your area. This is particularly useful if you are looking to try something out of the ordinary like going on an equestrian date, for a date idea. Some areas also have locations where you can purchase discounted gift certificates. For example it may be 30% off the purchase of a gift certificate. Another ways to find coupons is to look through tourist guidebooks for your area that are often supplied by the local school district.

Split the Check

In the modern age of dating it is not uncommon to expect a woman to pay for part or her share of the bill. Splitting the check allows you to decrease the overall cost of what you are both spending on your date. You can also alternate who pays for dates. This is a simple option that doesn’t require too much conversation and is easy for both of you to agree with.

Tips For Jewish Dating


Jewish dating is generally undoubtedly purposeful. Jewish singles are not inspired to date for the sake of dating or simply to own some fun. Most of the time a clear objective of Jewish dating is to find the right marriage partner. As everything in life you will be able to approach Jewish dating both in the right way and the wrong way. The results of the wrong approach can be important. Now take a glance at the Jewish dating tips. If you obey them you will be able to turn aside the most usually made error:
1.    You have to do your homework. It is vital because you may detect the person you determine to meet before the first date as soon as possible. In this way you will assure that your relationship has an actual expectation.
2.    You should give your date an opportunity. If there is nothing to dislike about the opposite person’s behavior, look or views, you should move forward and meet the person once more. Occasionally stress of a primary date occurs people to “not be themselves”. At first meet they may say or do something that they generally wouldn’t. For this reason you should provide it one more chance. Trust me, many individuals who quite unlikeable to each other on the first date now get pleasure from shalom bayit.
3.    Before you reach at your first date-fix your mind that you are going to have an excellent time. Whether you are fond of them or not, make sure your date feels acceptance and joyful. Afterwards you will feel good about yourself with this positive behavior. And believe me, this positive behavior is the best comforter for the apparent disappointment of not having met your basher…
4.    You must ask a lot of relevant questions. As we already mentioned that Jewish dating must serve its motive. You can do what you want to look for the person and if the other person’s lifestyle, views and imagination of your potential relationship match your expectations,
5.    Before the first meeting, you must have to get a nice night sleep. As Jewish dating once and again involves travelling you should plan for the trip and also make sure you schedule in some time for taking rest. This way, once it involves the large hour, you’ll be more relaxed and able to show the key aspects of effective dating like enthusiasm, sense of humor, creativity and curiosity.
6.    You must be patient and do not expect to be swamped off your feet on the foremost date. It’s really unsuitable if anyone experience such passion on the premier date. Moreover to identify the real deal it generally takes some time.
7.    You should try to look your best. We all know the worth of the premier impression means a lot. You should bear in mind that to form the premier impression you will never get the second chance.
8.    They say: once you apprehend, you know. However what if you only don’t know? Provide yourself enough time to understand the person thoroughly. And once your heart tells that this is not your beshert, it is necessary to tell them how you are feeling. It could be very painful for that opposite person if you leave him hoping and wondering regarding your future together.