You’re ready to date and you’ve signed up on a few Jewish dating sites to get the ball rolling. The problem is your matches aren’t leading to anything more than short conversations that leave you frustrated.
If you’d love to be out meeting Jewish singles but you find yourself on the couch every weekend binge watching the latest Netflix or Hulu offering, there’s probably more to it than being in a dating drought.
If you can’t understand why this keeps happening or you blame your dateless life on bad luck or lack of suitable partners, the following reasons are much more likely than that evil eye a spiteful mother cast on you for not dating her son.
You’re asking for too much info upfront
One of the biggest reasons people who want a relationship aren’t in one is because they can never make it to that necessary first date. Nowhere is the truer than when it comes to online dating.
People text, IM, Facebook chat, DM maybe even talk on the phone, but they rarely end up having face-to-face dates. TMI is a major reason behind never meeting up in person. When you get too much information about someone upfront, you are more likely to judge them based on what you read instead of learning about them organically in person.
If you match with someone you find attractive and they have the stats (age, religion, location) you require, set up a date and learn the rest about them in person. It’s honestly not necessary to know someone’s favorite color or their 5 year plan to have coffee.
You’re hung up on someone you can’t have
Are you friends with someone you’d rather be in a relationship with? Maybe there’s a person you’ve just stopped dating or an ex that you can’t seem to shake out of your mind and heart at the moment. If you feel the need to shoot your shot, by all means do it. However, if you know that it’s just not going to happen, don’t let that situation get in the way of your dating life.
Too often, people drag their baggage around and eventually it will prevent you from dating. There are two choices for you if you have your heart set on being with someone who isn’t reciprocating your feelings:
1. Drive yourself crazy hoping for a miracle.
2. Let go, move on and start dating.
You can’t know if someone is right for you without giving things time.
Now, there are people who clearly aren’t right for you and never will be. But if you meet someone with the basic ingredients of potential, don’t try to imagine what your future will look like with them before you know their last name.
It’s very common for people to believe they are great characters of judgement and one look or a single conversation is enough to understand who someone is. Go out a few times before making that kind of decision.
You have to give Jewish dating a chance for it to actually work out for you!